winter or spring?

The past few days have been warm around here. Warm as in, if we didn't have a fan in our bedroom to circulate air, I more than likely would of turned the air conditioner on last night. I cannot sleep in a puddle of my own sweat. I was still up at 1 last night and checked the weather, it was 70 degrees. Certainly not what January weather should be. One of the pros of this warm weather wave is Penelope is able to spend a lot more time outside. It's been harder this winter getting out as much, since we have a tiny one to look after who doesn't care for cold air whipping him in the face. I'm also coming out of 'I just had a baby' hibernation mode, transitioning from sitting around staring at his face all day to actually doing things out in the world.

The time between middle of January until the middle of March generally throws me off like this. Everything is dead, but when it warms up a little like yesterday, there are pops up green. It's nice to see but I know it's just a tease. The real green won't come back for months. Buds might pop up here and there, but nothing is really going to bloom. I spend this time of the year wishing it would either snow or hurry up and be spring. It's a terrible thing to wish away large chunks of time, but I get so antsy during the in between. I'm trying to combat it by staying busy this year and focus on the little things, like this girl and her (meme's) cat.

She loves torturing this cat. My mom has 3, but Leslie is the only one who comes around Penny for long periods of time. The other's can't handle her tough love. I wish Bruce and I weren't extremely allergic and we could get her a cat of her very own. For now, this one will do. 

letting go.

I knew having another child would bring it's own set of challenges. I knew that sleep would revolve around his schedule, most meals I would eat for the first couple months would be cold (and with one hand), my house would be messier, and that projects I've had planned in my head would have to take a back seat. I was okay with all of these things because I knew our home would be filled with more love than we thought possible.

I did not realize that this sweet boy of mine would sleep less than his 3 year old sister, would come out of the womb already teething, set his schedule of never going to bed before midnight, or need to be held, walked and bounced 75% of the time. The amount of time my arms are free is close to none. I pictured Penelope and I playing on the floor while Hank sat happily on his rug, but nope, that's not how it goes. At all.

Penelope and I did manage to steal a minute for ourselves last week. Hank actually slept, so we made banana bread and sat down to do our own activities. I started a new hat for Bruce and Penelope colored and traced things from her book. It was beautiful. I thought if these moments happened every now and then, I would be happy. Our moment was cut short when I went to the bathroom and checked on Hank in the other room. When I arrived back in the sunroom 2 and half minutes later, Penelope had joyfully informed me of how she 'cut the tail' for me. My mouth dropped to the floor when I realized she had pulled out my scissors, cut the working end of my yarn and pulled out quite a few rows of stitching. Those precious moments I had just had to myself, enjoying each stitch I had made, were gone. I tried to pick up all the dropped stitches but there was just too many. 

(the hat before it met it's demise)

Tears welled up in my eyes. I wasn't really going to cry over this, was I? But I did. Penny just smiled, patted my back and said "It's okay mommy, just be happy, ok?". I had to laugh a little, and told her I was just fine. But it hurt. It hurt letting go my expectations. I should have known! Babies change everything, I thought I had prepared myself for the worst. I guess not.

(I put him down for a moment just to get some pictures of them together. He cried as soon as he left my arms. Sorry for snapping away anyways, bud).

This week is a new week with it's own set of challenges and I'm just focusing on letting all of my expectations go. If I get to eat lunch today, I will be happy. If the pile of laundry on my dining room table gets even an inch shaved off of it, I will be happy. If I can read a single page of a book, I will be happy. If my mom comes over and comments on the state of my house, I will smile through the pain and anger, and know it's because I've been caring for my children. Penelope has been adapting well, realizing I might not be able to get on the floor and use both hands to zoom her train around, but I can nurse Hank and read her a book at the same time. I can take her outside and watch her run. If she can adjust, so can I.

Peg people.

For Christmas this year, I wanted to stay away from big gifts for Penelope since she seems to have a ridiculous amount of large toys and not so much the smaller ones that she loves and she can use her imagination with. I saw this post and it inspired me to make some little folks for her, I knew she would love them. Since I procrastinate with every thing, I was happy to find the paint I needed and wooden pegs at Hobby Lobby, and didn't have to wait to get them shipped. I picked a night where I had some time to sit down and focus, when Bruce was home to hold Hank when he woke up, and went to work. It was so much fun painting these! I'm a big hands-on person anyways, but now I find myself wanting to sit around and make more. I would do something different with their faces, you can't see them much in these pictures though. I would of gotten a smaller brush as well, I just went with the sizes we had on hand and it was harder to make the detail perfect, even though my 3 year old doesn't care. We put these in her stocking and her eyes lit up when she saw them. She immediately picked them up and went to play with them in her dollhouse, leaving all other gifts in the dust. There is fewer things more satisfying than making something with your little one in mind, and them loving it as much as you had hoped. 

She made a pathway from the middle of our bedroom to 'clothe mountain', the laundry basket, and the little people climbed and walked along it.

I will most definitely be making some of these for Hank in the future, and some more for Penny using different sized pegs (tempted to buy this set on easy and paint them all). I might have a slight obsession.

fall.

we're still waiting for a certain little boy to be born, but in the mean time the trees are changing colors and it's finally starting to resemble fall. this is a red maple in my mom's front yard and it's my favorite tree. a lot of trees around oklahoma tend to simply die every fall, but this one never fails to change colors. 

three.

my baby is three today. three whole years we've had together. some days it feels like it went by the blink of an eye, others it feels like she's been here my whole life (yes, I know that's impossible). either way, it's apparent she is 3 as she decided to sleep in her own bed last night. growing up fast. I love you, sweet girl.

hello, blogger

I guess I'm trying to see how long I can go between posts. A lot happens in a few months. This girl has been growing like a weed. Full blown conversations and just getting taller and taller by the day. She asks for food right before bed and something as soon as she wakes up. Somebody needs to tell her to stop. It helps that another little one will be arriving in the fall, but it doesn't completely erase the fact that she is turning into a her own little person.

january.

 the january daybook taken from this website. a lovely way to wrap up the month, and look forward to the rest of the year.

FOR TODAY

outside my window ::: a beautiful morning, but not so february like. it's warm out there.
I am thinking ::: what projects I can finish today, and if I really want to squeeze in the grocery shopping.
I am thankful ::: for my husband. I've been sick, and I suspect Penny hasn't been feeling good because of her horrible sleeping habits, and he's been there to help both his girls.
In the kitchen ::: a massive brisket waiting to be cooked.  empty wine glasses from a celebration last night.
I am wearing ::: gym shorts and a maternity shirt. I really need to change before I leave the house, but these are my comfy clothes.
I am creating ::: knitting away at some coffee sleeves. they're instant gratification knits. and making a new blanket for Penny.
I am going ::: I'm not sure...something to add to what I'm thinking about.
I am wondering ::: when this cold will pass. being sick is not something I do with grace.
I am reading ::: lots of gardening books. and just picked up a new Amish book from my mom [my family is obsessed with the amish lifestyle. so to feed that obsession, we read fiction books about their life].
I am hoping ::: to get out of the house some today. just have to bring lots of tissues along.
I am looking forward to ::: my birthday. it's the 24th of this month. Bruce is spoiling me this year. this rarely happens, because I tell him no, so I'm really excited for this one.
I am learning ::: to gauge my knitting projects. I like to jump in and say 'screw it', but of course the results aren't always what I hope for.
Around the house ::: it's been relatively clean all week! I attribute that to Bruce working a lot. he's my messiest babe.
I am pondering ::: what things February will bring. January has been a little more of handful than I expected and set out for it to be.
A favorite quote for today ::: I have favorite words for different days, but not exactly quotes. today's word would definitely be patience.
One of my favorite things ::: family time. we really have been lacking it the past few weeks with Bruce's schedule. there's nothing better than being around my favorite people.
A few plans for the rest of the week ::: friday is family day. we're going to a local BBQ joint that always seems to sell out before we get there. and then hit up some estate sales.
A peek into my day ::: the january sun. it's something i'll definitely miss.