check in.

Obsessing over: how fast I can get my 'to do' list done, and get back to knitting.
Thinking about: what Penny is trying to tell me. pretty sure she is trying to get me to take her to the 'whale store', but i'm not sure where that could be.
Anticipating: tomorrow night! we're going to start trying for baby #2. we're making an event out of it.
Listening to: see 'thinking about'. Penelope just keeps yelling 'whale store' at me.
Drinking: water with lemon.
Wishing: it was my birthday already. Bruce is buying me a new lens, i'm beyond grateful and excited!

my girl.

I've been too busy lately hanging out with this girl to update this blog. It's amazing how big she's gotten over the past few months. I promise myself I'll update more...just as soon as we're done playing..

monday.

  

Obsessing over: what project to work on next. valentines or refinishing the dresser. too many options.
 Working on: getting my daughter out of the house and to the park.
Thinking about: dinner. the next meal is always on my mind.
Anticipating: getting the gym over with today.
Drinking: ice cold water.
Wishing: see anticipating: wishing the gym was just over. i don't want to go! but i'll push through anyways.

Growing.

About 60% of the time, this is the only way Penelope will sleep. With her back arched and her head directly on my bladder (today I rolled her down to my legs). As bad as I feel when I wake up, I really hold onto these moments where she needs me. She wants to be near me. She still feels like my baby.

I feel like she's growing up and changing so fast my eyes can't keep up. With her clothes getting smaller and her personality getting bigger, it really makes me focus on how i'm changing during all of this. Where am I going and what are my goals? Sometimes it feels like I have all the choices in the world, and that's what kills me. Choices are not a good thing for me. I need to be told what to do or given two or three options. College? Hardest thing ever for me to finish because I don't know what to do. I don't want to mess up and go down the wrong path. I've been refinishing a lot of furniture lately, baking a lot, taking pictures of every moment of our lives, and writing nonstop. I love all of these things but focusing on one is so hard. I have learned that i'm not happy with a hobby unless it's hands on. Sweating and being sore because i've worked so hard at something makes me smile beyond belief. There is so many possibilities for me and our family, I hope we figure out the road that's right for us.

Summer.

Summer is here. School is over. This mama is beyond happy. I have a ton of free time and so many things to fill it with. So far, i've read an entire book in two days. TWO DAYS. I've become addicted to iced tea with lemon. I've watched my neighbor clean out her pool and drool over how good the water is going to feel when it's open and I can hop in (yes, we were invited over, i'm not going to invite myself!). With school going on, enjoying these little things was never possible. I can feel joy seeping back into my life. And I am loving it.

This little angel has been enjoying the extra time spent outdoors. Today I mowed the back yard while she played in her sandbox and daddy sat next to her. They both clapped & cheered as I zoomed by with the mower, letting me know that my hard work did not go unnoticed.  I have two of the best friends in the world.

It's a rainy day around these parts. I got the last of our seeds in the ground yesterday and I hope all this rain doesn't wash them out. Atleast the rain doesn't stop this little one from having a good time.

We spent most all day with my mom and it was wonderful. Our weekends have been interuptted and cut short, so i'm thankful she was able to take a day off work to spend with us. We went out to eat, bought Penelope her Easter dress, and to the bookstore. We always have a good time together. My mom gets my off sense of humor, hell I got it from her, and that keeps us close. I don't know what i'd do without her.

We're going to Arkansas on Saturday and i'm trying to make sure all the laundry is done and the house is clean before we leave. I hate coming home to a mess, or something I know I could of finished before. It's mostly my OCD. I've wanted to keep this blog up a little better, but if it doesn't happen then it doesn't happen. When schools over i'll be posting more and keeping up with this better so Penelope can look back on it and look at adorable pictures of herself (and stories, she does the craziest things, I can't wait to remind her about them).

Friends.

Yesterday morning I was having a bit of a rough day. Just down in the dumps for not any real reason, so I called this girl and asked if she wanted to spend some time together. I am always thankful when I see her, she lifts my spirits and makes the rest of the world seem insignificant.

We've been friends since 9th grade but drifted apart when I became pregnant. She missed Penelope's baby shower, her birth, and our wedding, but honestly life was going too good for me to be angry at her for it. I knew she had problems with depression in high school and she would withdraw herself sometimes. She just met Penelope for the first time a couple weeks ago and once we started hanging out we fell back into place with one another. She's doing better than ever and now an extremely reliable friend. We just click, we always have. I am so thankful for Stef.

We hungout at her house last night and I am in love with it! It has so many windows and these beautiful ceilings. It's so old with all that charm. I wish she could stay in it and really fix it up, but the walls are literally falling off the foundation, so there is no point in putting money into fixing up the kitchen and big projects. Her house is full of family treasures and garage sale finds with her art work scattered about. It's basically how my house would look if Bruce didn't have a say in things. I adore it.