life gives you want you need.

(I really do believe that statement. Even when things are terrible and never seem like they're going to get better, the experience leaves you with a wealth of knowledge. I might be one of those people who needs to believe it, and that's okay with me too).

I've been in a funk the last couple weeks. I haven't felt completely like myself or motivated at all. Plans we've made are so vague right now. Bruce has been in the processes to get onto the fire department, but we learned if he makes it through his final interview the academy doesn't start until next fall. That's a lot of waiting for two impatient people. Money is tight too, which just exacerbates any situation. I had another babysitting gig lined up, something I felt I needed to do since I quit last year when Hank was born. A few days ago I found out that wasn't happening. It was hurtful in the way I found out, since the person didn't bother to call me at all yet told a mutual friend, and I dwelled on it for days. It did me no good. The realization finally hit me last night that I should just pursue what I've always wanted to do, which is photography. I have to get over my socially awkwardness to talk to people, though, and quit doubting myself. Two very big things for me. It makes me anxious and want to shut down just thinking about it, but I know it's what I need to do. That realization came after some other big news that made me completely snap out of my rut, but I'll share that at a later date. I'm not quite ready yet.

These pictures are from Sunday night. I was hesitant to leave the house the other night, it was getting late and the kids were tired, yet Bruce insisted we go down to the river to see some friends. I was sure I would be annoyed and want to leave immediately. Turns out, it was just what I needed. I was able to relax, enjoy being outside (without getting eaten alive by mosquitos), and the kids were fantastic. Funny how that happens.

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