rebuilding.

New year, new start. 2013 was not my year. I didn't even realize it until it was almost over. I'm almost positive I had some post partum depression I was not dealing with, then added on hormones from a new pregnancy and, well, that's some ugly stuff. I was not a good mother or wife, and I'm not proud of that. My marriage hit a rock at the end of December which made me wake up and realize how terrible I had been acting. Ever since then though, things have been great. The fog has been lifted. I'm seeing clearly now and everything is completely different, in the best of ways.

My goal for this year is to focus on rebuilding. Rebuilding my relationship with my husband, with my kids and myself. Rebuilding our life and focusing on being happy, despite whatever bad things the new year could bring. 

I have a few small goals for the year:

>> Give birth to a healthy baby.

>> Be patient. Use every situation as a learning opportunity to gain more patience. 

>> Get outside every day for at least 10 minutes. It's hard during the freezing temperatures and 100+ heat, but completely doable.

>> Keep up with my cleaning schedule, but forgive myself if things simply do not get done when I expect them too.

>> Make my husband and marriage a priority. I have a hard time letting go to time to myself and leaving the kids, but it's a change I have to make.

>> Don't yell. The dog eventually stops barking, the 4 year old stops being a pain, and the baby eventually sleeps. Yelling makes it worse. I must remember that.